Robert Ingersoll: What I Want for Christmas

Robert Green Ingersoll (1833 - 1899) was "The Great Agnostic" of the 19th Century.  Among his many quotes is this famous writing entitled What I want for Christmas.  He covers alot of ground in a few wise words.  Enjoy and ponder:

WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS.

     If I had the power to produce exactly what I want for next

Christmas, I would have all the kings and emperors resign and allow

the people to govern themselves.

     I would have all the nobility crop their titles and give their

lands back to the people. I would have the Pope throw away his

tiara, take off his sacred vestments, and admit that he is not 

acting for God -- is not infallible -- but is just an ordinary

Italian. I would have all the cardinals, archbishops, bishops,

priests and clergymen admit that they know nothing about theology,

nothing about hell or heaven, nothing about the destiny of the

human race, nothing about devils or ghosts, gods or angels. I would

have them tell all their "flocks" to think for themselves, to be

manly men and womanly women, and to do all in their power to

increase the sum of human happiness.

     I would have all the professors in colleges, all the teachers

in schools of every kind, including those in Sunday schools, agree

that they would teach only what they know, that they would not palm

off guesses as demonstrated truths.

     I would like to see all the politicians changed to statesmen,

-- to men who long to make their country great and free, -- to men

who care more for public good than private gain -- men who long to

be of use.

     I would like to see all the editors of papers and magazines

agree to print the truth and nothing but the truth, to avoid all

slander and misrepresentation, and to let the private affairs of

the people alone.

     I would like to see drunkenness and prohibition both

abolished.

     I would like to see corporal punishment done away with in

every home, in every school, in every asylum, reformatory, and

prison. Cruelty hardens and degrades, kindness reforms and

ennobles.

     I would like to see the millionaires unite and form a trust

for the public good.

     I would like to see a fair division of profits between capital

and labor, so that the toiler could save enough to mingle a little

June with the December of his life.

     I would like to see an international court established in

which to settle disputes between nations, so that armies could be

disbanded and the great navies allowed to rust and rot in perfect

peace.

     I would like to see the whole world free -- free from

injustice -- free from superstition.

     This will do for next Christmas. The following Christmas, I

may want more.

                              The Arena, Boston, December 1897.